I Have a Very Big God

During a listener and prayer group run by one of the few evangelical churches in Yopougon, Côte d'Ivoire, Mariam* burst into a song and dance joined by the whole group of women. The song declares, “I have a very big God.”

Mariam migrated from one of the areas outside Abidjan. Coming from a poverty-stricken home, her mother wanted her daughter to have a better life that included education. Mariam shares,

My auntie took me from my parent’s home at an early age and promised to take me to school, but after a few years she made me stop. She mistreated me and sexually abused me, but no one listened when I complained and shared my hurt and pain. I was not given food or even clothes at times. I told myself that if I ever have a child, I will treat them well. I ran away and became a domestic worker, but my life was very bitter and sad.

Then I met a man who I thought loved me, and I got pregnant. The man disappeared, but I resolved to raise my child. At that time, I did not know God. I wanted my son to have a childhood different from my own. Thinking that spoiling my child would be showing love, I gave him everything he asked for and never once lifted my voice.

One day I met a pastor’s wife who invited me to her women’s meeting. There they listened to the Women of Hope radio program, talked about women’s issues and spoke of a Jesus who loves them. I wanted to experience that love and soon received Jesus’ salvation and became a regular attendee of this group.

While listening to a Women of Hope program on parenting, I was shocked to learn that I was doing it all wrong. After praying for forgiveness from God, I asked him to guide me to raise this son and show him true love. I pray that my son grows up to be a servant of God and a good citizen. I know I have a big God who loves me and hears my prayers. I know that man plans, but God directs the steps.

* Name changed to protect her identity

By Sphiwe Nxumalo-Ngwenya, Africa regional coordinator